I heard that Bishop Joseph Garlington once said, "when I was young I thought my problem was with people, now that I am older I realize my problem is with God." Now there's a thought. When I hear something like this I am never sure what to do with it. I am a 30-year-old man trapped somewhere in between the world of young and old. So, for the sake of not dealing with the perceptions of people I won't write about my insecurity of encroaching the realm of being "older". Thankfully, it is more fitting and right to recognize the heart of what the Bishop was trying to communicate.
Who is my issue with, people or God? The older I get the more I regretfully see the truth in the Bishop’s words. Depending on how you look at it I have either had the privilege or the pitfall of leading in many different venues. With these varied responsibilities I have had to deal with men and women in “senior leadership” who were appointed to lead me as I led others. I have to admit, I had issues with some of these men and women. In my mind, some were not qualified to be where they were.
Needless to say, this was a learning curve that the man I was at the time did not handle well. Though my words and actions showed submission to the authority above me, my heart held a cynicism and distrust. Sadly, the man I am now deals with the residue of my skeptic’s heart. You see, I am not comfortable with the reality that God puts people in authority over all of us – specifically, my family and I – as agents of his transforming grace in our lives. As skewed as this statement will sound I feel as though I have “earned the right to my suspicion” since I have been burned enough by those I have followed. My distrust ranges through the whole gamut of possible authorities; from bosses to mentors to pastors to politicians, you fill in the blank.
Yet I hear the admonition in Hebrews 13 and realize how much this soul needs to grow. “Obey your leaders and submit to their authority. They keep watch over you as men who must give an account. Obey them so that their work will be a joy, not a burden, for that would be of no advantage to you.” This soul needs to recognize and revel in the reality that God has put these people over me for His glory and my good.
No matter how much hurt I think I have permission to hold on to, I have no right to hold such a hardness of heart toward people in any authority. God put them there, so if don’t trust them my problem isn’t with them; it’s with the One Who put them there. Now this perspective that my problem is with God is even more unnerving than actually trusting authority types.
I guess this goes to show how stunted a man I am. But I don’t want to remain this way. Maybe, just maybe, as I continue to follow the Lord of the universe and of my heart I will someday be secure enough to look at someone in authority and simply trust the Lord knows what He is doing. All this to say, “you’re not my problem, but I wish you were…”
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